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“It’s just too hot” says Andover man

Andover Weather is too hot sunbathing
The weather is too hot

A man from Batchelors Barn Road is petitioning the town council to change the weather.

“Yesterday was 29 degrees. It’s now just too hot”, says 61 year old Nigel Lang. “We must be a mile from the sun”.

Mr Lang, an unemployed local busybody, made the claims despite having spent the past nine months complaining about it being “too bloody cold”.  He intends to write to one of Andover’s many local councils to ask what they intend to do about the unconventional climate.

Last month Mr Lang was overheard in the Blue Onion complaining about the “bloody rain”. A recent survey carried out by Mr Lang showed 65% of respondents consider suitable weather to be 13 degrees and overcast with sunny spells.

With a pink handheld fan from Poundland cooling his face, Mr Lang added:

“This would never have happened when we only had one mayor”.

Mr Lang was last seen heading back into Poundland where he is planning to spend the afternoon standing under their air conditioning.

The warm weather, known as summer, is set to continue. With chances of rain.

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