Get ready for a mouth-watering adventure as we team up with the passionate and discerning palate of “Burgers He Wrote” on a quest to find the perfect burger! But that’s not all, this journey is about celebrating more than just the delicious bites; it’s about shining a spotlight on the incredible businesses we have right here in Andover.
If you’re a food lover and a supporter of local establishments, you won’t want to miss this thrilling blend of culinary exploration and community appreciation. Get ready to savour the flavours of Andover and fall in love with food all over again – because at Love Andover, we’re all about celebrating the best in food and our amazing community!
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A Food Review From Burgers He Wrote:
Chicken Zing Burger – Chicken breast deep fried in a crispy batter, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, gherkins, red onions, mayonnaise, topped with grilled doner in a medium spiced sauce with a blend of onions, capsicum and herbs in a brioche bun. Served with chips – £13.50.
I’ve got another confession to make Food Fighters…I’ve tried most of these places before…So does that mean I’m cheating?! Not really. It does however mean that I’ve got a fairly good idea on what to expect, although there could also be some pre-reserved judgments being made, so I’ll try and Grohl with the punches for you.
Take Burgers & Co for example. I’ve ordered from here once, and unfortunately for them, vowed never to again, disappointed with the beef patty I’d encountered one fateful night. My words were something to the effect of:
“What that rather long, and overly indulgent description doesn’t tell you, is how strange your fingers will smell after you flap the burger patty around, attempting to show your mates that you don’t trust the way that it moves.”
I’ve also previously mentioned about giving places a second chance, and as this was exactly 2 years ago to the day, here I am again, ready for some Sure Shank Redemption. I’ll try Andy Dufresne from being quite so harsh this time around, and not make an Escape Goat out of them on this occasion. It’s probably wise to steer clear of the beef though, shame that both Tupac & Biggie didn’t.
It’s difficult with takeaways to try and recreate the type of in-depth review I managed last week, this being one of many faceless organisations to provide deliveries, in what has sadly become the norm for businesses these days, due to this tragic economic climate the current government has firmly plonked us in. Often, you’ll find that a lot of places providing delivery from Just-Eat, Deliveroo, and Ubereats, either don’t have a store front, or operate from a shared kitchen, alongside other food businesses, which I’m sure I’ll touch on in the future. It’s not a dig, I just like things a certain way, probably due to my COD. Triggered much?
Andddd I’ve started to bore myself. I did make a promise to review The Malt House this week, however, as I only e-mailed them on Monday, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt until next week, and then I’ll go in unannounced, perhaps wearing a Groucho Marx disguise.
This is an extract from Burgers & Co’s website, make of it what you will:
“Burgers & Co. has been providing high quality food to Andover and the surrounding area. We pride ourselves on providing freshly cooked, delicious food at a very reasonable price. Each dish is cooked from fresh ingredients by highly trained chefs. Whether dining in or enjoying a takeaway; our emphasis is on providing good service and customer satisfaction. We like to source all our produce locally.”
I’ve gone for the Chicken & Doner Burger today, often referred to as a ‘Special Chicken Sandwich’, on Kebabby menus.
I bloody love a good kebab me, particularly after a few Beverley Knights. I’d stumble into either Charcoal Grill, Keskins, Chick ‘O’ Land or Showboat, after approximately 12 bottles of Hooch and 15 Aftershocks, and having circumnavigated the dancefloor in Breakers, or Flicks, most likely both. The original bossman was a pillar of our community, and their kingdom used to be the cornerstone of any attempt to either sober up, or WOO a prospective love interest, a la Ric Flair.
“It’s not often you get something that’s both romantic and thrifty”.
So how does this kebab meat fair, you ask? Well it’s described as ‘grilled in a medium spiced sauce, with a blend of onions, capsicum and herbs’, and that delivers on its promise. The sauce they toss the kebab in, has a reet nice flavour to it. Assuming they toss their meat that is, wheyyyyyyy!
“This is just one big boy’s club! – Seedy little men with seedy little jokes.”
Doner kebab, literally translates to ‘rotating’ ‘roast meat’. According to reports, kebabs first appeared in the UK in the 1940’s as immigrants from Turkish, Cypriot and Kurdish communities arrived in search of a new life.
It wasn’t until 1966 that the famous doner kebab we all know and love – cooked on a vertical spit – first appeared with the opening of the Hodja Nasreddin Kebab House by Çetin Bukey and Kojay Hüseyin in North London’s Newington Green.
You can imagine the scenes now, with fans at Wembley after England had just won the World Cup, that very same year…
“Some people are on the pitch, they think it’s all over, IT IS NOW”…
“Right then chaps, who wants a ruddy good bit of slap up nosh? I know a splendid little kebab house in Newington Green.”
Today, the Kebab Industry is reportedly worth £2.2 Billion to the British economy, employs thousands of people and has become an integral part of British Culture.
“You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a p*sshead.”
I won’t Toy with you anymore; I’ll finish the Story. For a start, it’s much better than my last experience, times Infinity, and somewhat Lightyear’s Beyond. I can’t tell you what a Buzz that is.
I’m sure, by now, you’ve noticed they stamp their buns with a cattle prod. I’m guessing that’s better than prodding the cow itself, although it is dead at this stage, so you’re not really doing much in the way of saving animals, protested PETA.
In the words of my good friend Sean, “Chips were alright”.
The Chicken was nice, and cooked as well as it can be, albeit a bit lost amongst the flavour and juices from the kebab, with the coat becoming sodden and stripped away, under serious pressure from all the lubricant that’s been applied to the breast.
Is this an insert from a Danielle Steel novel or a burger review? I’ve confused myself at this point.
The prospect of soggy fried onions and peppers usually irks me, like standing barefoot on a slug, but not here funnily enough. Strangely, all the pieces harmonize together perfectly, like East 17 performing ‘Stay Another Day’, a guilty pleasure of mine, and one that brings me onto this festive segment.
Despite being a big fan of their early work, if you’ve seen East 17’s latest effort on your Spotify Release Radar this morning, you’ll be absolutely mortified. They’ve teamed up with Riot E-Liquid to bring out a Christmas single, promoting quitting smoking, and presumably taking up vaping, although this isn’t directly mentioned. It’s entitled, ‘Merry Quitmas’! You’ve let me down here lads, anyway, here’s some of the lyrics for you to feast upon:
Oh no something’s wrong with Santa
Go and tell Rudolph, and go and tell Prancer
You should have quit Nick, said Dancer
But you should have known that smoking’s not the answer
I thought smoking was amazing and I would always be tokin’
The cigarette it would be blazing, like Rudolph’s nose would be glowing
And now my wife is raging well better yet this time she’s exploding
Because the sleigh bells are not sleighing and therefore we are not going
Anyway Santa’s got bars and a set of baubles so here’s what I endeavor
If you’re gunna smoke, listen to this song it’s a gift for you, a treasure
There are no presents this year, OK, I’m going to do something better
It’s too late for me but not you I’m banning smoking forever PEACE
I’ll be honest, when I first heard it, I thought they’d said Santa had Cancer, and I was like, ‘Nooooooooooooo’, but it does imply it, which would be a travesty. Stopping smoking is a good cause, not sure many people will be listening to advice from East 17 about it though.
“If I wanted advice from you mate, it would be about Conspiracy theories.”
Nothing screams festivity more than Decs going up early, so whilst I’m sat twiddling my thumbs, listening to Mariah Carey on repeat until my ears bleed, waiting for Santa to empty his sack out in front of a load of screaming kids, listening to Mariah Carey on repeat until my ears bleed, what better way to get into the spirit myself, like reverse demonic possession, or raiding your mums liquor cabinet, replacing the vodka with water. Either way, I’m feeling like it’s going to prove difficult this year.
My biggest issue is Global Warming really. I don’t want to pop outside on Christmas Day in a t-shirt and shorts, and whilst temperatures drop ever so slightly at the minute, you just know that you’ll be popping on a bit of Ambre Solaire come the big day.
Del: Morning unc.
Albert: Morning son.
Del: What’s it like out?
Albert: Oh it’s parky Del.
Del: Nice thick frost, is there?
Albert: Bit slippery under foot.
Del: Good. Lovely little flecks of snow?
Albert: Bit of sleet yeah.
Del: Cushty. Nice brisk northerly wind howling in from the Urals is there?
Albert: Cuts right through yer, Del.
Del: Lovely. Cos you see today Uncle Albert, owing to young Rodney’s foresight and GCE’s, while all them other plonkers down the market are selling woolly hats and thermal underwear, we are gonna make a right killing. Do you know why we’re gonna make a killing? We ain’t got woolly underwear. We’ve got sun tan lotion! And we ain’t just a little drop of sun tan lotion… We’ve got 500 bloody quids worth of the stuff!
Rodney: I told you before, I bought it as an investment.
Del: An investment!? Menage a trois! In the middle of the worst winter for two million years, with the weathermen laying odds on a new ice age, this dipstick goes out and buys up Ambre Solaire!
I’ll be honest, it’s probably a shrewd investment these days, a good 38 years later, and if you remember this when it came out, you’re officially old.
Burgers & Co have got a new friend in me. Their Beef Burger never really stood a chance, so opting for the chicken was wise, throw in their kebab and it raises it a level, but ultimately, these aren’t the droids you’re looking for. B&C are probably a safe bet for a reasonably priced takeaway, depending on what you order.
Yours Sincerely,
Freddie’s Funny Stories:
Kelly & Freddo were discussing the subject of people getting old, and he first said, “Why does everyone die before they’re a hundred?” innocently, but…then follows it up with, “Old people always look like they’ve been vacuumed”. That’s the Annual Care Home visit off the cards this year.
