Being a parent is wonderful. I am a mother, and my two little children are lovely little blessings. They bring me joy and happiness in so many unexpected ways, and I discovered I could love a human being in a way I didn’t know was possible. I’m sure you do too. But, and this is a big but, and I also do not have any scientific evidence to prove this either, in my opinion, it is the hardest, unpaid job in the world. It doesn’t stop, there is no clocking off. There isn’t time to be poorly, let alone to have time to yourself. Peace often means hiding in the dark with a KitKat hoping they can’t find you……
However, I want to let you know this need not, and should not be the case. So many parents that I meet feel that it is selfish to think about themselves. I urge you to read on so that I can change your mind.
A little bit of self-care can do you and your family the world of good.
You are only human. You can only do so much and there are so many hours in the day. Just as you can only pour so much water into an empty glass before it overflows, then when that glass starts to overflow you would stop pouring wouldn’t you? Or drink some, or perhaps sense would tell you to stop pouring before it over flowed in the first place. Wouldn’t you agree?
You are that glass.
You only have so much capacity before you can overflow. Life is constantly adding things to you, taking up space and energy, because you need to get “everything” done. But what happens when you overflow? What happens when you have being doing stuff for so long there is no energy left? You are overrun with guilt, a feeling of not being good enough, not Instagram worthy. Or worse, feeling like a failure. So I’m asking you to use that same sense that stops you from over pouring your water, to stop overdoing everything and use a little of that energy to love you. To clear some space and create more capacity in your glass so that you can maintain a lifestyle that is good for you and your children.
So what can you do to love you?
- First off, put a little time aside, and go get some space. Whether that is having a bath when the kids are in bed, whether it’s getting up at 5 to go exercise before they wake. Find a way to get some alone time. Listen to some nice music, or a meditation or even some self-hypnosis.
- Fuel yourself correctly. You wouldn’t put diesel in a petrol car and expect it to work properly. Eat nutritious food, and keep hydrated. I don’t mean just drinking at wine o clock, Water throughout the day is good.
- Keep a journal or diary. Write about how your feeling so it doesn’t build up.
- Give yourself permission! To say yes and no. Say no to the things you really don’t have time for, say yes to you.
- Take 5 minutes and think about a time when you felt fabulous/amazing, whatever good emotion you want to feel. Close your eyes and remember that time, notice the colours of the image you can conjure up, hear the sounds of the place you were in at that time, feel the temperature and the textures around you. Allow yourself to fully immerse yourself in that experience to relive it. It’s a wonderful gift to give yourself, 5 minutes to feel good, because feeling good is right isn’t it?
By allowing these little things to happen and putting yourself first, you create more capacity in your glass. You refuel your energy stores and replenish your mind and body. You will have more patience, feel more prepared and generally a whole lot calmer. That’s a bonus for you and your kids. Win win!
HPD, Dip.Hyp, NLP Practitioner, MNCH, CNHC Registered.
Unlock Your Potential. Boost Yourself.