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Burgers He Wrote Review: Shane’s Burger Van (Portway Industrial Estate)

Get ready for a mouth-watering adventure as we team up with the passionate and discerning palate of “Burgers He Wrote” on a quest to find the perfect burger! But that’s not all, this journey is about celebrating more than just the delicious bites; it’s about shining a spotlight on the incredible businesses we have right here in Andover.

If you’re a food lover and a supporter of local establishments, you won’t want to miss this thrilling blend of culinary exploration and community appreciation. Get ready to savour the flavours of Andover and fall in love with food all over again – because at Love Andover, we’re all about celebrating the best in food and our amazing community!

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A Food Review From Burgers He Wrote

Shane’s Gourmet Burger – 6oz Gourmet Beef Burger, Bacon, Cheddar Cheese – £5.50

Dear Readers,

A lot of people come up to me and say, “If you want a really good burger, Shane’s Burger Van!”, so it’s only right I paid Shane a visit, and taste what all the fuss is about! Lucky for me, I work a mere 2 minutes away, but that also means there’s no chance of me walking this off, like David Busst. Ironically, I’m from that era where the school Nurse would whip out the blue paper towels if you were to break a leg. So wish me good luck!

For those of you who live under a rock, or who’re agoraphobic, Shanes is located on the Portway Industrial Estate, a haven for lorry drivers parking badly and also, swarms of flying chip nickers. The migration of Seagulls inland becoming a real concern, some people even worried they’ve come here to steal their jobs, not me you’ll understand. You’ll currently have to contend with Noah’s Ark should you wish to visit, due to the flood next to his van. These reviews have taken on a distinctly biblical ambience of late. Hard to believe, yet really Good on a Friday.

First off, Shane was initially guarded about featuring in the review, or even really providing any information, and to be honest, I don’t blame him. 20-year-old me, or even 30-year-old me would’ve said whatever I wanted about someone’s business, with no consideration for the damage it could potentially do. 40-year-old me is a bit different however, being more constructive in my feedback these days, and without the unnecessary slander, unless you’re in the top bracket of earnings of course, then I’ll say what I like. “But that’s double standards though”. Perspective, yeah?

Without trying to sound condescending, Shane’s a simple man with simple pleasures, so it’s a good job he works in Andover then ay, but on a serious note, he’s happy with how business is going, and does just fine without excitable morons like me, sniffing about like Nina’s boss in Human Traffic.  

Pop Shanes on the list of things that are quintessentially British, this being the last van standing of its kind in Andover, that’s still in daily use around the town, and not out at events. ‘This is a local van, for local people’, and whilst it might not be low-cal for old Tubbs here, it boasts a solid fanbase who frequent it, come rain or shine. One of the old boys standing outside even joked that he’s here every week, even if Shane isn’t, I swear he called him “Shaun”, which really confused matters, but the clientele here knows exactly what they want, I’d imagine they don’t like change, and probably couldn’t give a monkey’s what I think. So how will I fair? Well, I’ll tell you, shall I.

Let’s start with the bun, not your archetypal sesame seed bun you’d expect at this type of van, but a floury bap instead, something that I’m all for as it held up well considering its circumstances. One bite also made me look like I’d just had a night out with Hunter S. Thompson.

Moving on to the patty itself, which is detailed as 6oz and ‘Gourmet’. These are sourced from Paragon, who specialise in the provision of burgers, and considering we’re ‘Roadside’, it’s pretty good. It’s certainly a level above the usual gristly number you might expect. There’s still a pre-formed feel to it, but it’s tasty. Add in the Bacon, Grilled Onions, slap on a bit of proper Cheddar and ‘Robert’s your Fathers Brother’.

Sauce preference often has people up in arms, with myself opting for Burger Sauce on this occasion, after I’d initially toyed with having both ketchup and mustard, what is seemingly quite a traditional route to take, but it’s your choice, leave me out of it. Salad is also optional, although again, this doesn’t seem to be the place for lettuce munchers, more of a meat ‘n’ greet for carnivorous Vikings and such.

Will it kill you? “Yeah, it’s cholesterol. Scottish people eat it. Few of them make 60.” – Alan Partridge.

A genuinely enjoyable burger, which was a comforting treat on a cold Friday lunchtime, and one that is endorsed by officials adorning hi-vis jackets. It also won’t break the bank, so if the cost of living is getting too much, and you’re feeling the pinch, this is the perfect burger for these times.

Shane’s burgers may not necessarily hit the dizzying heights and thrills of Thorpe Park per say, yet it still has all the charm of the funfair, with a low admission fee. It’s just horses for courses really, and whilst there doesn’t seem to be a ‘care or sell’ approach, I’m sure there are those of you out there who’d list Shanes as your favourite, and whilst I did enjoy it, and the ‘Nostralgia’ I get from the whiff of grease and fried onions, I’m possibly looking for that little bit extra whilst on my quest for Andover’s Best Burger. A solid 7 like Kevin Keegan, nonetheless.

This burger had to put a wet floor sign down before I’d even started. She often found herself surrounded by geezers at lunchtime, but it was I that had stolen her heart, probably by cardiac arrest. She may have lost interest in me at the end, and kicked me to the curb, I’d still part the seas to get to her.

Freddie’s Funny Stories:

Being an avid football fan and player, I thought I’d make Freddo aware of the following, “So mate, it looks like England will be hosting some of the Euro matches in 2028!”.

Freddie – “When?”.

BHW Glossary:

Get to grips with BHW terminology.

Roadside: A Van or Restaurant that is often found in a layby, or at a Services, treated on a different.

FFS: Freddie’s Funny Stories

Nostralgia: A scent of pleasure and also slight sadness when a smell reminds you of things that happened in the past.

Flying Chip Nickers: Seagulls

Robert’s your Fathers Brother: Bob’s your uncle

Lettuce Muncher: A Vegan

Yours sincerely,

Burgers He Wrote.